I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
