Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
