Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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