I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
