My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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