You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
