dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
