you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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