Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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