so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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