North Korea, Best Korea!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
