so explain again why im purple
no
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
