She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
