She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
