i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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