Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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