If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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