I wish my penis had an off switch
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
