Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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