um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
sarcasm needs its own font
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
