my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
