the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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