Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
