So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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