Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
