just come out here and I will go home with you...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
