yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
