Me. At least after what I've been through.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Randomize
