every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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