I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
