Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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