I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
