Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
