I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
