If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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