worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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