we have pet lesbian snakes
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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