Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
