OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
