I think my fart just growled at me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
