do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Drunk is not a location!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
