Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
