Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
