He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
