I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize
