I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
