I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
