All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
