hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
