i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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