you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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