He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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