You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
