I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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